“I predicted that I’d like it and you wouldn’t,” you said to me as we walked out of the theater. You know me well, of course, and were right. Tell your wife…you were right about me…
The triumvirate of fail
I’ll get right to it. The
failures of The Last Jedi, for me, are threefold: the uninspiring collection of
its new heroes, its seeming indifference to its most interesting questions, and
its tedious insistence on familiar, recycled tropes from the series’ previous
installments.
Putting the old heroes out to
pasture
I’ve thus far resisted
reading any criticism of the film, but I’d wager that I can capture one of the
most common complaints: the diehard fans of Star Wars justifiably care much
more about its old heroes than these new ones. The franchise’s iconic
characters cast a shadow too long for the apparently ill-equipped minds at
Disney to overcome. Amid its incoherence, the one thing that The Last Jedi
actually renders quite clearly is Disney’s objective to, one by one, purge the
beloved and iconic heroes and pass the baton to the new ones. All well and
good, you might say. Carrie Fisher (RIP) is real life dead. Harrison Ford was
too old to believably reprise Han Solo. Imagine a septuagenarian Henry Winkler
donning the leather jacket and playing The Fonze again. It wouldn’t work for
the same reasons Ford’s portrayal felt so flat and his death seemed so
justified.
The tragically unsatisfying
subversion of Luke
Mark Hamill, on the other
hand, looks just like you’d expect an exiled Jedi master to look.
Unfortunately, his role – until the very end of the film – is relegated
to that of angsty brooding. The Jedi failed and should extinguish, he says
again, for what feels like the tenth time. This is not what I paid to see. No
doubt many fans had much higher hopes for his character, especially after his
absence from all but the final 70 seconds of The Force Awakens. For all the
sins of the prequels, one thing they got right was a smattering of
consequential and visually thrilling lightsaber duels featuring its most
important characters. Here, we get Luke losing a low stakes stick fight in the
rain to Rey.
Make me care, new characters
Taking the spotlight away
from the old guard of heroes does make sense for the reasons I’ve detailed
above. The chief problem, for me at least, is that I don’t care – or haven’t
been made to care – about this new cast of characters, hero and villain alike. Nearly
all of Poe Dameron’s distinctive characteristics are negative. He’s arguably
more skilled than the First Order when it comes to killing off what’s left of
the Resistance. Someone needs to sit the guy down and teach him the basics of
cost-benefit analysis. Later, in a pubescent fit because he doesn’t get to know
Vice Admiral Holdo’s plans, Poe stages a coup that – if successful – would have
doomed the few surviving members of the Resistance. Luckily, the more stable
leaders emerge victorious and save us all from the raging, F5 Poenado
threatening to destroy everything. Despite all of this, we’re clearly meant to
like him, whose brash swagger reminds us ever so little of Han. I don’t get it.
Then there’s Finn. He’s
certainly brave and courageous, but I’m struggling to assign him a distinctive
quality. What, exactly, is compelling (or essential, even) about his character?
That he’s a turncoat who discovered he wasn’t cool with mass murder? With Han,
we had the conversion of a loner, self-centered scoundrel to that of a bona
fide hero willing to lay down his life for his friends. With Luke, we had a kid
with big hopes and dreams who turned out to be the progeny of the second-worst
dude in the galaxy, making him one of the most consequential heroes in the
annals of Jedi lore. Leia was the undaunted, intrepid leader that the fledgling
Alliance needed, and she set the entire saga in motion with her daring ploy to
send the Death Star plans to Obi-Wan Kenobi. I can’t tell you why you should
care about Finn, though, and that is a problem for a film franchise that has
invested so much in him. At least he isn’t as idiotic as Poe, I suppose.
Even Kylo Ren is a swing
and a miss for me. Somehow, despite killing his father and being responsible
for Luke’s exile, I can’t muster the hatred for him that is intended. For one
thing, all of the best Star Wars villains are terrifying to behold. I find it
impossible to feel anything close to terror when beholding Adam Driver’s goofy
visage. In short, he is the opposite of everything I want to see in a blossoming
Sith Lord. And, in case you missed it, Hayden Christensen already did the
whole whiny, angsty thing.
The last thing we need is more of that. Snoke said it best, “You are no Vader.
You are just a child in a mask.” I’d have much preferred someone cut from the
cloth of Darth Maul, who didn’t have to say much of anything to achieve the
desired effect—his appearance and skills with a lightsaber were more than
enough.
Not the time to introduce
even more new characters into the fray
Rose Tico exists to...save
Finn from an act of heroic self-sacrifice and say something pithy about love
before maybe dying? If she survives, which we’re led to believe will happen,
then she may emerge as the love interest for Finn. So that’s something, I
guess, in a saga that has thus far steered clear of any overt romantic aspect. (I
found myself pining for the mounting tension and suggestive banter between Han
and Leia in the Falcon, with all of Ford’s roguish charm on display while Leia
tries in vain to rebuff her feelings.)
DJ, played by the
inimitable Benicio Del Toro, is little more than a convenient prop to betray
the good guys to the bad guys. His presence is the only redeeming aspect to the
mostly pointless casino montage.
Just kidding about all that
Snoke hype
The Last Jedi provides
answers to none of the most interesting questions left in the wake of
The Force Awakens. We learn absolutely nothing about Supreme Commander Snoke,
beyond how poorly attuned to his apprentice he really was when it mattered the
most. We are left still wondering who he was, where he came from, who mentored
him and a host of other questions the film does not address. With this death,
Snoke usurps Darth Maul for an honor I foolishly thought had been locked up for
all eternity: Most Underused Villain.
Aside: Nothing about Snoke’s
death made much sense. He demonstrates his mastery of the Force by casually
whipping Rey’s body to and fro, and then boasts that he was the one
controlling Kylo and Rey’s connection. This was a sobering revelation that
might have had an alarming effect for viewers if not for what followed.
Somehow, a being of his evidently immense power lacks basic peripheral vision. Count
me among those disappointed with his Bond-villain death.
Nick, you predicted that
Ren only killed his father Han Solo to gain the complete faith of Snoke in a sort
of long-con. A bit like Severus Snape’s prearranged killing of Dumbledore:
something that, on the surface, seemed to cement his villainy but ultimately
and more importantly served to gain the unquestioned faith of He Who Must Not
Be Named. Viewed that way, Snoke’s demise does not seem quite as absurd. Even so, it’s difficult to imagine a Dark Lord of
the Sith being so hopelessly naive and trusting.
Any hopes of learning Rey’s
past were also disappointed. Gazing into the Mirror of Erised, Rey sees only her own reflection. To make matters even worse, Kylo
Ren later reveals to Rey that she is no person of consequence. Perhaps this
isn’t actually true and we should learn by now not to take Erstwhile Ben at his
word. If the two were somehow related, though, one would think the conniving
Kylo Ren would attempt to use that information to his advantage. I’ll allow for
the possibility that more information on Rey is forthcoming.
A long time ago, in a
galaxy far, far away … TEDIUM
For all of its dizzying action
sequences, the film is marked by pointless tedium. Several scenes are devoted
to Rey unsuccessfully beseeching Luke to rejoin the Alliance. Everyone knows he
will eventually show Rey a thing or two about the Force and perform at least
one more heroic deed, so what’s the point of delaying the obvious for what
seemed like half an hour? We understand almost immediately that Luke is wrought
with grief because of his supposed mishandling of Ben. Indeed, this is conveyed
in the previous film and by the mere fact that he’s gone into hiding, but the
writers insist on making sure we really, really get it.
Moreover, nearly the entire
movie is spent showing the good guys fleeing from the bad guys in outer space.
We are constantly and painstakingly reminded of the fact that the ship is
running out of fuel.
Imitation is the sincerest
form of flattery
Then there’s all of the
recycled material. Rey is brought before Snoke ala Luke before Palpatine in The
Return of the Jedi. In both instances, the hero’s escort is a villain wrestling
with whatever small bit of good remains in him. And in both instances, said
villain slays his big bad master. Granted, in Vader’s case we hear genuine
words of contrition and regret, whereas Ren hasn’t exactly seen the light.
Killing Snoke was about seizing his ambitions, and, perhaps, attempting to gain
the trust of Rey, whom he courts for the esteemed role of co-ruler of the
galaxy.
The Last Jedi saves its
best derivation for last. The Resistance finally land on a planet that looks an
awful lot like Hoth and are almost immediately besieged by a host of AT-ATs.
I’m sure that I’ve seen this somewhere before. Surprise! Chewie and the Falcon
swoop in just in time to save some of our heroes from being mowed down in a
vision that hearkens back to Han’s timely arrival in the battle of Yavin. Then
we are treated to the eerily familiar sight of the Falcon navigating tight
quarters while several TIE fighters give chase. It’s impossible to not see
visions of the Falcon narrowly escaping the second Death Star—the clear
inspiration for this new sequence. So, the writers manage to recycle material
from all three of the original films
in one fell swoop. That’s so wizard, Ani!
Porgs are, of course, the
new ewoks—a shameless ploy to sell Star Wars toys and a decent bet for most
popular Halloween costume of 2018. At least the ewoks served a purpose in the
plot of their film.
Weeding through the snark
Here’s what it comes down
to, Nick. I had specific hopes and expectations for the film that were unmet. I
wanted more Luke, especially a showcase of his Force mastery. I thought his
legacy was cheapened by the dreary monotony on Ahch-To and found his sendoff
unsatisfying. Fair or unfair, I’ve yet to buy in on Finn, Rey or Poe. Assuming
you have, you’re probably scratching your head at all of my criticism.
Likewise, if you did not really care so much about the mysterious Sith Lord or
the lineage of Rey, you don’t mind that certain questions were left unanswered.
Finally, I hoped for more originality in the unspooling of the plot. In shoving
more banality down my throat, instead, Disney did little to dissuade me of my
belief that most sequels are bantha poodoo.
Thanks for reading. Now, read my brother Nick's take, "The Star Wars I Saw."
